The saga continues

Keith has now gone 4 strait days without napping...AT ALL.
He is tired and cranky, I am tired and cranky, David is tired of hearing me tell him I don't know what to do and he should hire a nanny to take care of his kids because I'm obviously failing, and Belle is enduring it all.

Things will get better. Hopefully I have enough patience to not have a breakdown before that happens.

It's still hard to tell if his tummy hurts or if he just refuses to sleep unless held. Urgh.

Oh a brighter note, we picked cherries today, and briefly played in the sprinkler. All while our poor insomniac boy was completely miserable and exhausted.

I know, I know

So last night after I wrote that long dramatic story I was lying in bed feeling very ungrateful. If the hardest thing that I have to do is let my baby cry himself to sleep then I think I've got it made. I know lots of Moms who have a lot more difficult struggles and thinking of them makes me feel small and selfish for getting so worked up over this sleep thing.

So, in the meantime, Keith is growing out of his 12 mo size clothes, LOVES a stuffed bumblebee he has, rode in Belle's swing for a few minutes today, and is getting better at baby cereal all the time. Since we didn't quite get all the baby gear changed over from pink to blue when he was born, he has had to put up with some pink. He sleeps on pink sheets and every now and then lays on a pink blanket on the floor. It's not that I haven't tried to buy blue crib bedding, it's just I'm having a hard time finding one I like at a good price. I guess I will make it a goal to have him sleeping on BLUE by six months. I keep asking David if it bothers him that he uses some pink. He says no, it doesn't. But he drew the line at a pink bib that says "Flower Princess". Lying on pink is one thing. Wearing it is another. So we bought blue bibs at Wal-Mart today =).

Belle has to feed her baby doll cereal, and push her around in her stroller all over the yard, and says that she "is already happy" whenever you mention that Jesus Christ wants you to make good choices so you can be happy. Apparently she's already happy. I guess I'll have to explain that to STAY happy...
She also quotes books after only a few readings, and goes around singing random songs at all hours. This week she has been "doing tricks with my light" (Sam and Gus) and "looking for old tap shoes" under ALL the beds (Pig a Pancake). On the way to the store today she starting singing in the car "I love Daddy, Yes-siree, I love Mommy Yes-siree, I love Keith boy Yes-siree, we are a happy family". What a riot.

One of the hardest things I have ever done

Ok, so, maybe I am being a little over the top dramatic with the title, but...then again, maybe not.

Here's what life has been like around here for the last, say, 2+ months.

Wake up, do morning routine, try to get the baby to take a nap. Give up on the nap and do something else. Try to give the baby a nap. Give up on the nap and do something else. Try to give the baby a nap. Give up.....you get the picture. All day, every day. Sometimes it's 6 or 7 hours straight of this. Poor baby is exhausted. He has gone all day without a single nap many days, others it's 4 or 5 pm before he gets any rest...and finally collapses into exhaustion for a fitful and restless nights sleep. Ugh.

I guess I should clarify that there have been SOME days where he naps, but they are by far fewer in number than the other.

Here are some of the reasons he can't sleep:
* Tummy troubles. He has always had a lot of gas, and at about 2 1/2 months it turned into a TON of gas that made him completely uncomfortable. We have changed/added several things to his routine and I think this problem is finally getting under control.

* Big sister. Without fail, at least once a day, she has a potty emergency RIGHT when I am getting him to fall asleep. She is getting better at getting to the potty alone, so the other day I tried to talk her into using her stool to get up so I wouldn't have to put him down right away. She did great. She got all the way to standing on her stool and her pants down before she had the accident. So then Keith woke up AND she had an accident BOTH. Yeah, that worked out.

She also has learned she has to be "super quiet" while I am putting him in bed. However, she is only 2, and barely 2 at that, and self control is a very difficult thing. She tries SO HARD to be quiet...the sweetie...but she will see something that she gets excited about and wants to play with and expresses that, or accidentally knocks something over...or, the list goes on and on. Keith sometimes will sleep through these distractions but this is only after complete exhaustion is approaching.

* I forget to make him burp before I put him down (or he WON'T burp bc he's already asleep then he has to wake up to burp and WON'T go back to sleep).

* Various reasons for which I do not understand.

I'm sure you can imagine how this has been difficult for all of us. Keith is a super happy fun baby if he's had enough sleep. Super fussy grump if not. Hey--I would be too if I was so sleep deprived!! (wait--I AM!) Belle hardly gets any one-on-one during the marathon 6 hour try-to-get-the-baby-to-sleep days. And my patience gets a super test, my stamina a work out, and nerves a blow. With a lot of days no Daddy to come home and rescue us. On the days he is home it is considerably better for both Belle & I, as just being in the house keeps us calm--not to mention all the time he spends with Belle, and breaks I get. But it makes no difference for Keith. Still sleepless.

SO I determined long ago the best way to solve this problem is to teach Keith to fall asleep on his own. Then he can do it without me rocking him, and free from distractions. First, we had to get his tummy troubles under control. Then, we had to decide if he was old enough. I talked to a lot of you for advice (Thanks!), read up on the experts, stewed and stewed over it, and finally decided it was time.

Even after ALL that, and how difficult the last few months have been, it did not make it any easier to leave him in bed smiling up at me with those so trusting eyes and angel face. It broke my heart. Then to leave him there while he cried for an hour broke it again several times. He finally went to sleep. Today we are on day 4 of putting him to bed awake. It isn't any easier to leave him there smiling up at me, but he cried for 10 minutes and went to sleep.

Some of you will say he is fine, it won't hurt him. Others will disagree and say you should never let your babies cry it out. I'm still not sure about the whole thing, but I honestly didn't know what else to do. Here's to hoping that after he learns to fall asleep at night we can easily transition him to napping on his own. Here's to praying that, actually. And son, if someday you turn out to have abandonment issues or a low self esteem, I really am sorry. I love you.

There's me being dramatic again.

 

Random Sampler

Here's some random pics of us lately. I tried to get a video of Keith laughing to include but Belle wasn't so hot at working the camera;). She usually does a great job at making him laugh but wasn't in the mood this time. So I'll have to try again for that one. And would someone PLEASE tell me how to get the header picture centered on the blog?? I'm stumped.



We must have prunned the roses right...because they are oh so beautiful.

TWO YEARS OLD!!

Time has FLOWN the last two years. I can't believe Belle is 2!!
She had a whole week of parties; first on Sunday at Christine's house, then on her birthday we went to the park to play and have cupcakes, then David got home Sunday and Monday night we had a party for her here and David's family came. After the day at the park she prayed "Bless Bella have another birthday".
So here are some pics from Monday. I didn't take pictures the other two times. I think she had a fun time!! Thanks to all those who helped make her day special.

This is the look of pure, innocent, complete JOY of a two year old who knows she is loved when a room full of people she loves are all singing to her. At this moment she was looking right at Daddy.



This is the adventurous Two-year old trying out her new Tricycle, which she calls a bicycle, but who cares, right? I'll have to get a closer picture sometime of it. It's awesome.




And here is the cake, which I decorated. Someday I will learn how to make it look like someone older than 13 did the decorating.